The Religion of Skepticism

Dear Readers:

Former magician turned professional skeptic The Amazing Randi returns to haunt Las Vegas this June 19-22 with his Amazing Meeting 6. The title of this year's conclave is "I, Skeptic: Modern Skepticism in the Internet Age." It's being billed as a "celebration of criticial thinking and skepticism sponsored by the James Randi Educational Foundation. Thinking people travel the world to share learning, laughs and life with fellow skeptics and distinguished guest speakers" including once again--sigh--some guy from the MythBusters and tiresome magicians Penn & Teller. Now, I believe a healthy dose of skepticism is a tonic whether the subject is paranormal activities or politics. But making a career out of proving that dowsing is "fake" is like devoting one's life to exposing The Undertaker as not really undead. It's not rocket science. In the coming days, I'll have more on these silly folks including annoncement of a ground-breaking protest guaranteed to rock the socks off the most hardened skeptic. BTW: Is the Amazing Randi the skeptics' saviour?

Stand-Up Dreamer

Hi Doc:

It's me! Live from my motel room in beautiful downtown Biloxi f-ing Mississippi! Where it's so humid a catfish just swam by my fifth story window. Whoa! Anyway, to get serious for a moment Doc, I'm a stand-up comic killing time in bed before I kill the audience in the casino downstairs. To make a long story short, my real life sucks--I've been on the road all but one week this year--but my dream life--now that's really dreadful. Problem is, I dream great material--sitting next to Leno Grade A stuff--but when I wake up it just sort of melts away in my mind, not in my hand, if you know what I'm saying. I've tried writing the sh*t down mid-dream but when I try to decipher it the next day, it's as illegible as the phone number last night's hottie scribbled on my bicep after I slobbered all over it in my sleep. Any hints on how to remember my dreams and get the h-e double hockey sticks off the road?
Beat Down in Biloxi

Dear Beat Down:
Experts tell me that writing down your dreams is the correct technique. Your problem is that you're not waking up enough when you do that. You're too drowsy and your penmanship shows it. Try turning on the room light and make sure you can read and understand the jokes before going back to sleep. If you can.

A Cat's Intuition

Hi Doc:

I saw your recent articles about women's intuition. I'm writing to tell you that my cat Disaster has it, too. And she's a female! Disaster is uncanny in her ability to know whether a phone call is from one of my friends--or a telemarketer. When the phone starts ringing and Disaster senses that it's a personal call, she rushes towards the phone and paces back and forth until I answer. Yet she doesn't budge from her comfortable spot if it's an annoying telemarketing call. Over time, her intuition has been so spot on that if she doesn't dash for the phone either do I.
Disaster's Mommy

Dear Disaster's Mommy:
On a more crucial level, cats have been recorded as sensing oncoming disaster. Many such cases took place in London during World War II. Even before approaching German planes were detected on radar, cats would be seen rushing towards bomb shelters. Although there is no official count of how many British lives were saved by this "feline early warning system," it is widely agreed that the number is a high one.

Don't See A Movie with Lana!

Hi Doc:
Love your blog! I have a very peculiar type of women's intuition that causes big problems in my social life. Because of it, there isn't a guy in San Francisco who'll go to the movies with me. That's because I have the ability to anticipate every plot turn, know the punch line of every joke and can correctly predict the ending of a film I've never seen before. And I feel compelled to tell my companion--not to spoil things, but because of the thrill I get from displaying my unique ability. My parents were the first to notice my precocious, if party-pooping talent when I would blurt out the outcome of every "America's Funniest Home Videos" tape before it happened. This took all the fun out of watching according to my mom, who tried but failed to get me to predict horse race and lottery winners. Amazingly, my intuition only seems to manifest itself with filmed or taped narrative fiction. I've consulted a few psychologists about why, but none have come up with a definitive explanation. Some contend that I simply possess the natural female affinity for storytelling and words to an extraordinary degree. What should I do?
Lonely Lana

Dear Lonely Lana:
I don't doubt your ability, but I endured Will Ferrell's latest "entertainment" last night and every joke was predictable. The same is true of most mainstream Hollywood crap. My suggestion: On your next date, save 9 bucks and take a romantic walk on the beach instead. Only then would I ease into film, maybe something retro like "Last Year at Marienbad." If you can intuit the storyline of that movie, you have one very special talent indeed.

Did Hillary Clinton Kill Women's Intuition?

Hi Doc Paranormal:

I'm a mother of three and I can't tell you how many times I correctly sensed that something was wrong with my children--even when they were at school miles away. But, as I'm also a feminist, I've learned to keep quiet about my talent for fear of being ridiculed. What I'm distressed about that women's intuition is being given short shrift these days. Why? Is it because modern women like Hillary Clinton are reluctant to admit they possess this special gift, for fear of being branded too "feminine?"
All Girl

Dear All Girl:
I sympathise with your plight. But you're not alone. Women's intuition does indeed exist. But recent research indicates that men possess an intuitive ability equal to that of women. Yet most men are so uncomfortable with such sensitive feelings that they ignore them. Or bury their sixth sense so deeply that they don't even realize it exists. BTW: Hindsight is 20-20, but if Hillary Clinton had been more in touch with her intuitive side, she might not have made the insensitive missteps that cost her the Democratic presidential nomination.