Mile-Long Umbilical Cord Reported by Psychic

People who report out-of-body experiences sometimes notice a link attaching them to their physical selves. The link is known as the Silver Cord--and Bolivian psychic Roberto Salivas has just found one measuring 1,500 meters long! The approximately mile-long psychical umbilical cord was discovered by Salivas as he guided a client's astral body projection.

Salivas says the lengthy Silver Cord functioned as a sort of leash tethering his client's spirit to This World while she visited her deceased mother on the Other Side.

However, not all astral travelers report such a cord. In fact, in one recent British study, only 3 percent of subjects noted the cord, while Australian researchers found that just 2 percent of subjects developed one.

Next Guns 'n Roses Album to Drop 2025

...based on 17-year interval between The Spaghetti Incident and Chinese Democracy.
D.P.

Obama To Perform Good Deeds in All 50 States

Washington, D.C. paranormal insiders tell me that Barack Obama will be performing good deeds in all 50 states--including those he lost in the 2008 election. Utilizing a CIA-approved system of bi-location, allowing him to appear in two places at once, Obama will continue building his new administration while simultaneously visiting every state in the Union.

While outwardly appearing to be the flesh and blood Obama, his likeness will have no corporeal presence. It will perform good deeds for unsuspecting citizens and then vanish or dissolve into thin air. The experts say Obama will do such things as preventing children from dashing into traffic, restraining burglars until the police arrive and bringing food and soft drinks to skid row alcoholics.

"This is Barack Obama's way of paying back Americans for participating in the election," an insider told me, "He is a quick learner and picked up the ability to bi-locate in a matter of days from a crack team of CIA trainers."

Child's Guide to Terror

Spiritualists attempting to contact the Other Side occasionally come across Child Guides. These are diabolic entities who disguise themselves as the delightful spirits of children. Despite playful personalities, these malevolent Child Guides are dedicated to confusing the medium as well as his clients. More than one otherwise reputable psychic has been driven out of business by the misleading advice offered by such a Child Guide. In one case, the medium was mislead into channeling the voice of his client's "beloved" deceased husband--when the woman's spouse had actually attempted to kill her.