The Healing Power of I-Pods

In one remarkable case, a cancer patient named Terry M. suffered from high blood pressure and insomnia until a sympathetic nurse brought in an i-pod chock full of Terry's favorite music, including Marvin Gaye's greatest hits and a collection of 70's love songs called "The Sounds of Sexy Soul."

Within minutes after donning the i-pod, Terry ripped off his oxygen mask and began to sing along with the smooth vibe of Marvin Gaye's "What's Goin' On?" After this, the nurse took Terry's blood pressure--and it had never been that low. She slipped out of the room with Terry humming to crooner Billy Paul's "Me and Mrs. Jones." He was snoring contentedly within twenty minutes, the first time in days he'd fallen asleep without drugs.

When the nurse told a friendly young intern, he replied with astonishment, "A half hour of music produced the same effect as 40 milligrams of Xanax."

Over the following weeks, the nurse and intern performed a research project. They concluded that music could affect the nervous system, which releases the body's own painkillers and natural tranquilizers.

The pair dipped into their own funds and purchase twenty i-pods. From then on, when making their rounds, the nurse and intern asked each patient to tell them their symptoms--and what music they wanted downloaded to their i-pod.

Alien Race Spread Through Coughs and Sneezes

A preliminary report indicates that an alien race is populating the globe via human coughs and sneezes. Visible only under a high-powered microscope, the aliens inhabit the warm, mucous-rich confines of the human nasal passage. When the number of aliens in a given nose grow too numerous, the human carrier coughs or sneezes, sending the aliens into the atmosphere where they are then inhaled by the next victims.

Carriers frequently confuse the irritation caused by the alien infestation of their nasal passages with catching a cold. The end result is billions spent on needless cough & cold remedies aimed at drying up the sinuses. In reality, such medications have no impact on the aliens--and in the case of Robitussin DM, may even increase their rate of breeding.

Researchers are hesitant to reveal their findings, fearful of creating a public panic. They are also concerned about potential lawsuits filed by a cough & cold industry furious that its products have been identified as largely worthless.

posted by D.P.

An Assortment of Dreams, Part 1

What do dreams tell you? Do they spring forth from your psyche, overflowing with information about your life and the direction it's heading? Most assuredly, say leading mystics Lady Steam Robinson and Tom Corbett, who have spent years researching dream symbols and the rich meaning they hold. Here are examples of common dream symbols and what they portend:

Crossroads: According to Robinson and Corbett, the meaning of this symbol is clear. If you dream of standing in a crossroads, you'll soon be faced with an important decision. Listen to advice, but rely on your own gut feeling to make the final choice.

Cry: To hear a baby crying means you expect surprising news. Any other form of crying signals a friend or loved on may be in distress. Treat them with a kind and understanding heart.

Hole: If you step or fall into a hole during a dream, you may have become involved with undesirable companions. A dream about digging a hole predicts a new adventure of relationship.

More to follow...