Woman Claims She Slept with Santa's Elves

Last night, "Tamara Simpson" slept with Santa's elves. The 37-year-old single woman tells me that she thought they were angels at first. "But then I realized that they were simply mischievous creatures. They couldn't perform a miracle if you paid them."

Tamara she didn't see the elves, but could sense that there were five of them in her Birmingham, Alabama apartment. "I was drifting off to sleep when I heard five distinct tinkling sounds. While I'm not sure what the sounds really meant, I told myself that each elf was snoring in his own special way."

Santa's elves disappeared at daylight, Tamara claims. "Where to, I have no idea. But their visit left me filled with a sense of peace, tranquility and comfort."

Fact or fantasy? If Tamara's happy, should we really care?

reported by Doc

Capsule History of Elves

"Mommy, how much do the elves get paid by Santa?"

Stumped for an answer? No surprise. Elves have a long history--and not only with Santa.

The first elves were said to be descended from Eve. They were hidden from the sight of God because they were considered unclean.

In German and Scandinavian mythology, there are elves of light and elves of darkness. Dark elves look like gnarled dwarfs, but white elves resemble angels. It is believed by Scandinavians that the average household is inhabited by a dozen elves during the holidays, evenly divided between dark and light.

In other European folk legends, white elves are often depicted as small fairies who dance around snow drifts, leaving elf-rings and elf-mounds as tokens of their presence. Dark elves are portrayed as troublesome, often hiding in the shadows, emerging only to create mischief, like causing grandpa to fall in the kitchen when no other family members are home.

During the long Scottish winter of 1842, over two dozen deaths were attributed to mischievous elves tripping elderly homeowners when they were alone.

reported by Doc Paranormal

Xmas Tree Doesn't Shed Needles

When the Tyscho family of rural Poland brought home a Christmas tree in December, 2007, they had no idea it would still retain its needles in December, 2008. And this is no artificial tree.

The Tyschos removed the beautiful 8-footer from a woods that borders their dairy farm, secured it in a water-filled pail and decorated it for the season. However, the tree never lost its needles and the astonished family has kept it in their living room all year--complete with decorations.

"It's been like having a Christmas celebration every day," Paul Tyscho told me in an e-mail, adding that his wife and five children feel blessed by the bizarre event.
reported by Doc

Farmer Goes "Full Vampire," Part 2

...Farmer J was rushed to the hospital where, as he recovered, his story slowly emerged. It seems that J, in his loneliness, had become obsessed with vampirism. He devoured many books on the subject, joined internet discussion groups on vampirism and began to dream about vampires in his sleep.

Then one foggy evening he had an intense dream in which he became a vampire himself, prowling the countryside for fresh victims, hiding from daylight by burrowing into a large haystack and sleeping.

The problem? J's bad dream turned real, or so he claimed to the police. Lying in bed at dawn, he howled in pain when the first rays of sun hit him. He drew his blinds and immediately became ravenous, as if he had been physically active all night instead of sleeping. But he had no desire for ham & eggs, his usual breakfast. Farmer J craved blood, just like a vampire.

Battling the urge until darkness again descended, Farmer J exited his house and quietly crept on his hands and knees towards his flock of sheep. He surprised an old ewe and plunged his teeth into her neck, blood gushing everywhere. A rush of pleasure filled J's veins before turning into a hellish, throbbing pain as the foreign blood coursed through his extremities. Finally, the pain became too intense and J passed out, smothering the poor, weakened ewe beneath him. Three days went by, J lost in his stupor until his neighbor infamously came to his aid.

Today, J remains hospitalized. However, he has been transferred from the intensive care unit to the psychiatric ward. Because when the cops toured his farm, they found the bodies of 200 chickens, drained of blood, puncture wounds in their necks.

J's therapists speculate that he went insane long before the "sheep dream." He had been feasting on his own animals for weeks.

But J claims he is absolutely sane and wants to be released to his farm.

He argues that he sucked the blood of barnyard animals because he had become an authentic vampire. And that a vampire should have the same rights as any of God's creations in this, the Land of the Free.

Farmer Goes "Full Vampire," Part 1

Proof:

"Farmer J" was by all accounts a quiet, orderly man, according to his neighbors in a rural part of Manitoba, Canada. A bachelor who had inherited his parents' 60-acre farm when mom and dad were struck by twin lightning bolts, J was regarded as friendly, yet distant by area residents.

J would wave when they passed by, but otherwise kept to himself, his cash crops and his flock of 120 sheep that he sheared for wool and sold for meat. He was so quiet, in fact, that it took three days for his nearest neighbor to notice J's comatose body in an irrigation ditch that bordered their two properties.

The neighbor jumped a fence, knelt down and felt J's faint pulse. But his own pulse began racing when he rolled J over to discover his face smeared in blood, a deceased sheep pinned beneath him with two puncture wounds in its neck. What unearthly affliction had led the young farmer to gorge on sheep's blood?

To be continued...

Doc Paranormal