2nd Most Common Type of UFO Alien: Experimental Animal

In a statement sure to provoke controversy, one expert told me, "This alien entity is completely covered with thick, coarse hair; it has extremely long arms extending below the ankles, fang-like teeth and a large, spreading nose. It's estimated that such entities can attain a height of over seven feet and a weight of up to 400 pounds. According to some scientists, these experimental animals are sent into space for the same reason that we once put chimpanzees into orbit. Intelligent beings have sent them on exploratory probes to test the conditions on other planets.
When such creatures kill or maim wildlife on our planet, it is only for defensive purposes. However, some Chinese researchers privately fear that these alien animals have already mated with several of Earth's few remaining giant pandas."

3rd Most Common Type of UFO Alien

This type of alien is almost human in size and form. Some are actually indistinguishable from humans, but most have characteristics that set them apart. As one researcher told me, "A typical example of this outer space being was reported recently in western Pakistan, where a great deal of UFO activity is taking place. The alien was about 6-foot-2 and 180 pounds with bowed legs and no hands. One sleeve had a bar coming out of it. Every time the entity waved the bar, something around it moved or disappeared."

4th Most Common Type of UFO Alien

The fourth most common type of UFO alien is the robot, according to the experts I interviewed. And just like our own robots, these can have many appearances. One of the best descriptions on record is of two identical robot entities encountered by two men in Mississippi in 1973. The robots were mechanical in their movements as they performed a medical examination of one of the men. Both robots were about five feet tall. They had heads, but no necks and no eyes or noses. They appeared to have antennas on top of their heads. These robots didn't communicate with the two men. They simply performed routine medical procedures, much like our own, highly paid human physicians.

Next Up: #3 most common type of UFO alien.

England's Most Haunted House...

...is the infamous Borley Rectory. Built in 1863 next to Borley Church, the rectory has experienced a high degree of unexplainable activity, including a floating brick, cold spots, ghastly odors suddenly emanating from passersby and mysterious tattoos appearing on the biceps of women.

Here's the most unnerving evidence of Borley Rectory's paranormal power--these ghostly events have continued to take place even though the building burned down in 1939! Several spirits were said to have remained in the building during the fire, including a tall, balding man in a black robe and a frowning book keeper who never looked up from his ledger!

Dreams of Playing Cards: The King of Clubs

According to The Dreamer's Dictionary by the legendary Lady Steam Robinson, when you dream about the King of Clubs it means you will soon be helped by a friend. Other cards:

King of Diamonds: You are in danger from an older man in a position of power.

King of Hearts: You have found true love.

King of Spades: Powerful forces oppose your ambitions.

Dreams of Playing Cards

According to Lady Steam Robinson, if you dreamed of playing cards last night, it means you facing financial reversals through carelessness and/or trickery.
D.P.

Mind Reader Says Obama Almost Quit Presidency On Inauguration Day!

A veteran mind reader in attendance at the Inaugural Parade in Washington, D.C. focused her attentions on Barack Obama and came up with shocking results.

In an e-mail, she told me, "I read Barack Obama's mind as he was reviewing the lengthy parade and was stunned to 'hear' him think that if he had to endure another out-of-tune high school marching band he was going to quit the Presidency on the spot. Fortunately, this came near the end of the parade and America was saved the embarrassment of its 44th president being driven from office by pimply teenagers."
Posted by Doc Paranormal

BBC: January 19, 2009 is the Most Depressing Day in History.

Just heard this on BBC Radio One, so can't supply a link. But January 19th is typically a low point for many people, given the terrible weather and the distance from holiday cheer. Add the current economic distress and "experts" say that January 19, 2009 is the most depressing day in history.

Reluctantly posted by Doc Paranormal

Official: Obama to Downsize America to 47 States

In addition to Utah and Alabama, the latest to go is Alaska. The state will be purchased by Russia, which will re-build the land bridge across the Bering Strait to boost regional commerce.
posted by Doc

Economic Advisers to Recommend Obama Downsize U.S., Drop Utah and Alabama.

Conspiracy theory making the rounds in Salt Lake City and Montgomery.

Confirmed: Martian Entrepreneurs Buy 25% Stake in U.S.

In a bid to raise funds for his failing nation, Barack Obama has decided to sell a 25% stake in the U.S. to a consortium of wealthy Martian entrepreneurs. An insider told me, "It was with a heavy heart that Mr. Obama made his decision. But he believes that to get this country going again we need an infusion of cash and fresh ideas. While Mr. Obama will remain America's figurehead, every action he takes will only be after careful consultation with the Martian team's merger & acquisitions advisers."
More to come...
posted by Doc Paranormal

Martian Billionaires to Buy United States

Developing...

(add rotating cop gumball here)

Doc