Sicko Cells Have Sex In Cockroach Guts
Not only that--I can smell a rat when I see one. Amen.
And such a rat--so to speak, is the ciliate cell. Name sound familiar? It should. We're distant relatives of these sicko creatures. Our family trees split apart only a billion years ago--a mere blink of God's eye. Amen.
These "cats" as the hipsters (who probably revere them) would say, are truly perverted. How's this for starters from a New York Times column by prestigious evolutionary biologist Olivia Johnson:
"Ciliates live in all kinds of places, from the guts of cockroaches to the waters around Antarctica, and they have a range of lifestyles..."
Lifestyles. Need I say more? Propriety stops me. But Ms. Johnson, apparently, lacks that gene. She goes on (and at this point, children should leave the room):
"Ciliate sex is peculiar in several ways. For one thing, reproduction and sex do not happen together. When a ciliate reproduces, it does so asexually, typically by splitting in half and growing a complete new individual from each piece. So: where there was one individual, there are now two..."
The perversion deepens...
"In ciliate sex, two individuals arrive, and two individuals leave: no eggs are fertilized, no offspring are produced. But by the time the two individuals go their separate ways, a massive change will have come over both of them: they will both have acquired a new genetic identity."
And in the article's "money shot," Ms. Johnson reveals:
As if that wasn’t enough strangeness, here’s one other peculiar detail. Many ciliates have more than two sexes (or “mating types”) and some — Stylonychia mytilus, for example — have as many as 100.
I could go on. But, unlike the cockroach, I haven't the stomach. Should this be your sort of "thing," you can peruse the entire work of pornography--er--scholarship, here.
Rest In Peace,
Precept Tabernacle Perfect
Supreme Oracle, Advisor To World Leaders and Sole Proprietor of the Holy Umbrella of World Awareness, LLC, a center of prophecy, sound advice and bond trading found in several undisclosed locations in Lagos, Nigeria. During what is a hopefully a brief period of exile, The Prefect is a Visiting Professor at Edgar Allan Poe Community College.
This is the inaugural Ask Doc Paranormal Opinion Post, an irregular series by renowned pundits and statesmen.
Labels: ciliates, cockroach guts, evolutionary biologist, god, lagos, morality, new york times, nigeria, olivia johnson, perverted sex
