Demons Bedevil Driver on Lonely Highway

Hi Doc Paranormal:

I see demons in unusual places. Often I see them while traveling by car. I will be driving by myself down an empty highway (this always happens at night) and a demonic "thing" will appear in front of me. It has two legs, a tail and is about 2 or 3 feet tall. Actually, these entities are hard to describe because they're only visible for a moment. I keep driving even though it feels like a force is trying to make me stop.

At other times, there will be a loud knock on the passenger side window. This will happen two or three times, kind like somebody knocking on the door to be let in--even though my car is moving! Of course, when I look over, there is no one there. Some times this scares me. But most often, I don't have any fear. Has anyone else had this experience?
Amy in Montana

Dear Amy:
I've reported on hitchhiking ghosts, ghost drivers and such during my journalistic career, but this is the first I've heard of demons attacking a moving car. Not that this hasn't happened to other people--a story about the phenomena simply hasn't come my way. Sorry I can't be of further help. Hey, I'm only human!

Thank goodness.

D.P.

We Are The Ghosts

Dear Doc:

I recently had the experience of trying to touch a ghost. Yet my arm ran through it, as if it was a mist. Or was I the mist? It dawned on me that perhaps we the humans are the ones who are dead and without substance--it is the ghosts who are truly alive. And when humans pass over to the Other Side we are not dying but being born again. What we mistakenly think of as dying is actually reincarnation into corporeal form. Humans are the ghosts. We are the dead.

"New Moon" Lawsuit Contemplated on Behalf of Lon Chaney, Jr.

Vampire movie "New Moon" has earned a whopping $250 million worldwide after a few days in release (Think about it: at $8 a ticket, that's over 30 million teenage girls).

And like all great financial success stories, the film will generate its share of lawsuits. The first one I've heard about is being contemplated by Andrei Duprei, a great friend of this web site and CEO of Romanian Werewolf Bus Tours. Here, in full, is his e-mail to me:

Dear Mr. Doc Paranormal:

"Greetings. If you are like me, you have a throbbing migraine this morning over the tremendous box office grosses of that terrible movie New Moon. It should be called Full Moon as far as I am concerned because it is like the filmmakers have bent over, pulled down their pants and exposed their buttocks to the real vampire and werewolf community.

"In a previous e-mail I have already expressed the insult this movie does to real teen vampires, who with their facial pustules, bad posture and soft, mud-like blackheads are belittled by fake hunks like that Brit Robert Pattinson. The damage to their fragile psyches has been enormous, with many seeking consoling at rural Romanian clinics.

"But as you know, my true area of expertise is werewolves and that is where the horrendous damage of New Moon has hit the hardest. In village after village I have visited recently, teen werewolves are crestfallen over how they have been depicted in this abomination.

"Why? I'll tell you. In reality, teen male werewolves are the antithesis of those bare chested ham bones in the movies. There is nothing bare about the chest of a teen male werewolf even before he transforms under a full moon.

"In the stark light of day, when a real teen werewolf takes off his shirt, his chest is entirely covered by coarse, matted hair. Often the hair is speckled by dried bread crumbs and aged flecks of cheese from the many meals he has consumed without noticing the debris trickling down his also hirsute neck.

"Yes, this is true. Even the un-transformed teen werewolf sports tufts of hair from his shoulders, the rims of his ears, his nostrils and here and there along his spine. He needs to shave thrice daily with a new disposable utensil each time.

"In truth, if I could paint you the best picture of what a teen male werewolf looks like in daylight--think of the paunchy, middle-aged guy at the beach who wears a Speedo and makes ladies cringe because he spots body hair from every conceivable part of his anatomy and seems completely oblivious to the fact.

"As such, the hero of every teen male werewolf, is American actor Lon Chaney, Jr. whose appearance in many documentary-like Hollywood werewolf movies in the mid-20th century most accurately captured the plight and appearance of this repellent creature.

"Therefore, on behalf of Lon Chaney, Jr. and all real werewolves, I am considered filing a multi-billion Euro lawsuit against the filmmakers of New Moon, although I am exempting the little actors because they will do anything to get their mugs on the screen."

Sincerely,

Andrei Duprei

CEO

Romanian Werewolf Bus Tours

Daughter Gives Mom the Evil Eye

Dear Doc:

My daughter was about eighteen when she gave me the Evil Eye. She got very angry with me and her eyes turned completely black. Normally, she has lovely blue eyes, so I took this as a sign to back off and gave her some space. This was the only time she gave me the Evil Eye, but once was enough. BTW: Neither of us mess with the Dark Side. My daughter doesn't even like scary movies.
Mary in Nashville

Dear Mary:

Thanks for your frankness. I have received a lot of e-mail lately from Evil Eye victims.
Doc Paranormal

What it Means to Dream of Sarah Palin or Barack Obama

Hi again!

I'm Dawnlee Hope, Jr. and I'm a graduate of Doc Paranormal's kick-ass dream interpretation curriculum at Edgar Allan Poe Community College. I want to thank him for allowing me this space to tell you what your dreams mean. Today, I'm going to tell you what it means if you dream of Sarah Palin or Barack Obama.

Dreaming of Sarah Palin:

Recent good fortune makes you want to pinch yourself. Your wildest imaginings have been achieved. Yet you're itchy and snappish; you feel like an imposter who will soon be "found out." Relax--even if others sneer, you'll always be treasured by your loved ones and children.

Dreaming of Barack Obama:

You're at a crossroads, faced with career-defining decisions. Yet like a fatherless child, you long for a strong authority figure to make the tough choices for you. So you typically opt for the status quo. However, the time for bold steps is now. If you don't take the initiative, others will--and they may not have your best interests at heart.

posted by Dawnlee Hope, Jr.

Claim: Ozzy Osbourne Has Converted 278,631,199 People to Satanism...

...according to fundamentalist poll.

Note from Doc: Call me a skeptic, but I have a sneaking suspicion the margin of error on this one is--oh--about +-278,631,198.

Why Do Glowing Orbs Appear in My Photos?

Dear Doc Paranormal:

In a batch of family photos I took recently, glowing orbs appear in the background. These orbs are different sizes and colors in different photos. I took my camera to camera shop and the repairman said there was nothing wrong with it. What am I experiencing?
Cathy in Dayton, Ohio

Dear Cathy:

One theory is that such orbs are a form of very positive energy from the Other Side. According to this theory, the orbs are spirits of deceased family members and loved ones who have come to protect and comfort the (living) people in the snapshot.

According to most reports, these orbs are not visible to observers on the scene when the photos are taken. And, in a curious note, the orbs only become visible when a digital camera is used.

Best,
D.P.